Visions of fall...

It's certainly beginning to look and feel a lot like fall around here!  The air has gotten cooler and the leaves are falling.  Slippers, hats, and sweaters are all making an appearance and I have to admit, I'm enjoying it.  This weekend was certainly one that screamed *autumn.*  We went to a local organic apple festival for the second year in a row and had a great time.  We got there earlier than we did last year to make sure we got some of the best apples!  It was a great time, and now I'm looking for the perfect applesauce recipe so I can start using them!

I also keep thinking about how I'm going to miss eating outside now that the weather is turning cool... and then I realize just how silly that thought is!  We've been continuing to eat lunch and dinner outside as often as we can, just the preparation is different.  Instead of just running out onto the porch, I'm getting the girls in slippers (realizing that I need to buy a pair and find a pair for Elyse as well!), and sweaters, and hats.  There's just something so beautiful about eating on the porch, listening to the crickets, and feeling the (now) cool breeze.  And then dinner ends, the girls jump up and play.  Elyse finds fallen balls from our sycamore tree to pop in her mouth while Leah does some crazy dancing.  Yes, I think we'll be staying out as long as we can.  Happy Autumn!

A good start

I'm not going to say that I woke up today and the rhythm I want just fell into place. I'm not. What I will say, though, is that I woke up (very tired), and a pleasant morning fell into place. I needed to shower and clean the kitchen (and other parts of the house that have been forgotten as of late), but I stopped, and decided that getting to the playground first thing with my girls was more important. So I threw on some comfy clothes, got us a bit bundled for the crisp morning it was, put Elyse in the BabyHawk and we headed out. It was perfect.

We went on the swings, Leah figured out some new ways to climb parts of the playground, and we just enjoyed.  The sun got warmer and warmer and before long, Elyse was fast asleep on my chest.  (Is there anything as wonderful as a sleeping baby snuggled up against you?)

After we were outside for about an hour, we headed in for a snack.  I then got a phone call from a lady who was interested in child care!  Things are looking up!  While I may not be the right fit for her and her son right now (due to money, etc), she said she would definitely keep me in mind for the near future.  At any rate, I may have a little boy to watch soon!  Also, another friend has started bringing her daughter for me to watch once a week or so.  It's not much, but it's enough to give me hope!  I don't know what the future holds, but this seems like a very good start, indeed...

Finding our Rhythm

I'm loving being home. While I do miss the girls I used to take care of at times, there is just nothing as wonderful as being at home with my children doing everything at my own pace. I love planning our days however I want. I love deciding on a whim that we're going to the park or the farm. I love changing our plans and being able to have an early or late night without worrying about the next day. I love having the time to take care of my home and enjoy it. But that's the thing. Time. Honestly, what mother is truly good at time management? If you are, by the way, please let me know your secrets! I think I've discovered that in a sense, too much time causes it to disappear even faster. And so here I am, at home, with time to clean and play and cook... and yet none of it is being done. At least, not in the way I'd like it to! I think my struggle now is finding a new rhythm that fits our new life. I also think that I, well... I think too much, get discouraged, and then just think some more. I've watched Leah and Elyse and tried to figure out what makes them tick. When are they hungry (other than ALL THE TIME, as they both seem to be going through growth spurts!), when do they need outside time, when do they need inside time? Planned activities, like painting? Free play? I work out a rhythm in my head, and then something happens: we sleep in. My arthritis is flaring up. The kitchen never got cleaned. And then my perfect rhythm is gone. And I get frustrated. So here's to figuring something out. I think that I need to *let go* and watch it fall into place. I think I need to put forth some effort. I finally started looking at my day BACKWARDS and I think that will help. I know that certain things need to happen by a certain time; think naps and bedtime. I'm building around that. And I know that if (WHEN) I find children to take care of, that rhythm will need some adjusting, but that's the beauty of rhythm vs. schedule, don't you think? There's room for change. So, we'll see. I'd like to be that organized mom that has everything under control. Maybe she doesn't exist, but I'd at least like to try.

Distracted

I've been working as a nanny for the past four years. Every day I drove to someone's house where I took care of two little girls (ages 14 and 35 months when I started). Fast forward, those girls are now in school and I have two girls of my own as well as a beautiful house. I ended my job at the beginning of the summer and enjoyed vacations and being at home with my own kids every day for the first time! Reality has set in, however, and I'm in desperate need of a job. My plan has been the same for several years and that is to find some children to care for in my home a few days a week. I'm looking to start a Waldorf inspired child care/play school, but am having no luck. I know that there are children out there who need good care, it's just a matter of finding them! So, that being said, I'm starting to get distracted. I have days where I'm fine with our current situation, knowing that everything will work out. Yes, I NEED a job, but I do feel confident that something will happen. Getting a job outside the home is not an option, so something HAS to work out. Nevertheless, I'm starting to panic a little. Our bank account is quickly being depleted and with no leads yet, I'm panicking a little. Here's hoping and praying that some sweet children are on their way to me soon! And so as not to leave this space on a nervous and distracted note, here are some pictures of my girls from Rebecca's wedding. It was a perfect wedding and, while I may be slightly biased, my girls were just the sweetest! Leah was a flower girl, but got a little nervous. She had ever so much fun after, though, and we all enjoyed the evening. The dresses ended up being adorable. The fabric I had originally gotten didn't work out and I decided that instead of freaking out I would just go buy some new fabric, plain old cotton, that I knew I could work with. They came out perfect. The skirt I made for myself turned out okay too (in the end), but almost killed me in the process!! Anyway, here are some pictures- thanks to my iphone as my camera battery ended up dying!

And one more picture, because it's just too cute! It has been raining here the past few days and my girls LOVE to play in the rain. Rain boots, umbrella, nothing at all... it's always fun!